It was a couple months before I turned thirteen that Paul first put me down on his cock. Paul was four years older than me and was quite the athlete. By this I mean he was a hunk. There had to be several girls at his school who would have loved to be his girlfriend. And for the most part throughout his high school year, he always had a girlfriend — unless he was in one of his ‘I do not want to be attached’ mindset. It during one of these interlude that he first had me go down on him.
I had by this time essentially been crossdressing for about two years. One night when I was looking quite good I went to visit him in his room. He may have been surprised to see me fully dressed as a girl that night, but not shocked. It had been a fact of life around our household that I liked dressing as a girl, including six months when I was nine and in a ‘phase.’ While we chatted, and that is all we did that night, he asked me ‘So are you gay?”
“I don’t feel gay.” I replied. “But sometimes at school in the locker room I find myself looking at . . . . the other boys. Most of them have . . . more than I got down there.”
‘Sounds pretty gay to me,” commented my brother. I shook my head. And then I noticed my brother had an erection.
About four months later I gave him a blowjob. There is a part of me that feels that Paul would have fucked me that night if I had shown even the slightest interest in being fucked. Or maybe he needed time to work through the idea of fucking his sissy brother. Quite frankly I really do not know for sure when fucking me became a to-do item on his list, but seeing his boner that night getting fucked by him became an item on my to-do list.